Why Can't we have a F.R.I.E.N.D.S on India Television?

The other day I was watching an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the umpteenth time, and laughing out loud literally. Watching any random episode of the American TV series is the best time that I spend with myself. I realized that we do not have a single show worth watching on the Indian television for a youngster. It is truly saddening to see the state of Television industry of our country as we hardly have an intellectual, witty and high-end show running at the moment. With Navjot singh Sidhu and Archana Puran Singh laughing their heads off like devils on cheap comedy shows, and saas-bahus fighting over petty familial matters, TV in India definitely brings alive the literal sense of 'idiot box'.

There are a few reasons why we can never have a show as spontaneous and 'alive' as FRIENDS on Indian TV, and here I mean, exactly like FRIENDS, i.e. the same quality of humour, the same level of acting and perfection. One of the prime reason I can deduce is that Indian television viewer is not mature enough to understand that the world has moved into the 21st century and things like live-in relationships are not a big deal any more. Most of the Indian viewers would have opened their jaws as wide as the Indira Gandhi Canal in shock at seeing a baby out of wedlock, probably to the extent that a few 'Sainiks' would have attacked the sets of the show and some people would have filed a suit against the makers for hurting 'Indian sentiments'.

Besides, it is a well stated fact that India is a country sans sense of humour. Not even the people who run our country have a sense of humour (in fact they are the last ones to understand a joke). Our religious sentiments get hurt on little jokes, someone gets offended or someone raises objection. Besides the subtle sarcasms and satires that reappear in FRIENDS every now and then would have gone unnoticed and Chandler would have become a non existing character for Indians.

The largest viewership of Indian TV comes from household 'aunties' who watch the daily soaps all day. They would never have loved to see 'aaj kal ke bachhe' doing all that cheap kissing and stuff. It would have spoiled their Raju, Bittu, Bablu and would have inflicted torture on their young minds (as if Raju, Bittu and Bablu will remain saints for a very long time *evil grin*).

Also the professional and financial independence that is enjoyed by the protagonists (including girls) in the TV series is something beyond the family and cultural system of India. An Indian parental mindset can never imagine their kids as a chef or a masseuse for instance. A large portion of our country (especially TV viewers) is still in Tier-II cities, and the change is a very gradual process here. I do not complain about this part, but the faster we move towards a global society and broader mindsets, the better it will be.

But it is a vicious cycle. Basically television reflects the society and vice versa. Television shows what society sees. As long as the aunties are enjoying the saas plotting against the bahu in monstrous ways, hail the daily soaps! Meanwhile, instead of dreaming of an Indian version of FRIENDS, it would be better to just watch the same epic series again and again on our own PCs and have a good healthy laugh. They have definitely become a part of an Indian youngster's life as well. The success speaks for itself! :)

The 'Bhaiya' Banter: The Guest Post

Youngsters of India face a lot of genuinely 'serious' problems and challenges in their everyday lives. From study pressure to the Facebook distress, life is truly a joy ride for them. In my new Guest Post on the widely read blog - Whitescape, our expert 'Bhaiya' tries to provide some straightforward (read: twisted) answers to some widespread problems of 'Youngistaan'.

An excerpt from the Guest Post goes here -

Champa, 20 years, New Delhi: There is a constant problem of paucity of funds and the cost of living, for a youngster like me is ever increasing in an urban city. I have to get my mobile recharged for talk-time, then there is the 3G data pack, then the message pack and that is just the mobile part. Moreover there is shopping to be done and hangouts to be managed. At an age like mine, what can I do?


Bhaiya: Hey Champa, doesn’t that sound like a perfect time to make a boyfriend?


Chikna, 22 years, Pune: Hey buddy, I have to buy a gift for my new girlfriend. I have to, like, totally impress her, but I cannot think of anything. Please suggest me something that will help me score with her; though I don’t want to spend much!


Bhaiya: You want to score with a girl and don’t want to spend. That must be the cheapest and most frugal line ever. Since times immemorial, occasions have been crafted and developed in a manner such that women can extract gifts from men with different excuses. When you buy a gift for a girl and it hurts your pocket, just try to look at it in a way that you are helping the economy by spending (and of course helping Archies/Hallmark to break-even). Nevertheless, for cheap gifts you can choose to gift her something really cheesy like a hand-drawn card or a self-made cheese sandwich. Such ideas always work, although you might not earn yourself a night with her, but definitely an ‘aww’ for now. All the best!


Meena, 17 years, Bhopal: It is truly horrifying to see the number of like on my Facebook pictures go down. The more depressing fact is that, my classmate Seema keeps getting more FB likes than me on every picture that she uploads. It is truly humiliating and very disappointing. Please help!


Bhaiya: It is the right time to upload a pouty selfie in front of the mirror with..................




FOR THE COMPLETE POST, VISIT - http://thewhitescape.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/the-bhaiya-banter/


RATE THE POST ON A SCALE OF 5 IF IT HAPPENS TO BRING A SMILE ON YOUR FACE and SHARE IT. :) Feedback is always appreciated! Cheers!

Going Loud in a Crowd!

It is a challenge in itself to board a metro from Rajiv Chowk during the peak hours of evening. It is that time of the day when each one of us brings alive the Ravana inside us to get on the train, and doing all the possible pushing and pulling that it takes, almost molesting everybody around and paying a tribute to Mary Kom with our acts, we finally manage ourselves into the train.

One such day, when I was feeling like a victorious warrior on having entered into the train at the earliest, the guy who was sitting right next to me got a phone call. At a time when most of the people have earphones plugged in or are talking on phones, it was a normal phenomenon. But in a matter of few seconds, I realized that the guy was a loud talker or maybe he had a knack of talking loud and showing off! Suddenly his voice took a very serious tone while the sentence "Yeah, my iPhone 5s also had this thing" came almost about five times. I took a note of the fact that he actually did have an iPhone 5s and so his motto of showing off had accomplished as I couldn't help but feel irritated.

While his bragging about his phone took to new heights of gloating, I wondered why he didn't just fly back home on his phone. Suddenly, I realized that he was telling his girlfriend over the phone, about the new Rs. 20,000 shoes that he bought without any planning because he had 'liked' them in the first instance.  I mentally calculated that my net worth at that moment was not even 1/4th of the value of his shoes. He then moved on to discussing the trip to Paris last month where he had, had a drunken banter and done some "really wild" stuff. I couldn't help but manage a straight face somehow although now my interest had risen to a great height.

Most of his anecdotes started from "when I had got drunk" or "I spent Rs. ...". I assumed that he was either the CEO of Microsoft or had a superbly rich dad (where the chances of the latter definitely seemed to be much higher). His tales of 500 likes on his new Facebook photo to his next "supa kewl" wild party made him totally naked in front of me as far as his character was concerned. I am not one of those who judges anybody, and honestly I don't give a damn to how people manage their lives, but by the time my destination arrived (after what seemed to be the longest time ever), I got to know that he had an amazingly patient girlfriend and I had a badly aching forehead! Bless the braggarts! :\

(Aisi logo ki condition sach me serious hai - https://www.facebook.com/cadbury5star)

(Image courtesy - Google)

The Red Tulip...

She stood in her balcony looking at the stars above and feeling the frigid breeze on her face and arms. A soft romantic track played on her laptop which was kept beside a cup of hot coffee on the wooden table, which had now turned cold due to the complete ignorance that it had faced. Her mobile beeped with another Facebook notification as another best friend of her's added a couple selfie with a 'Happy Valentine's Day' post. The Facebook timeline was strewed with such updates. She locked her phone with mild irritation and got lost in her own thoughts again.

Oh! How she missed him! He was 1000 kilometres away, probably screwed up amidst thick files and huge scary numbers as usual. They loved each other more than the word 'love' could even epitomize. Her work had taken a back seat today, as the day got engulfed in the romantic arms of the darkness. She wanted to spend some time with him, in his memories. He had promised he would call as soon as he would get free from work. She waited with anticipation, and composure, as she had always been a type of partner who loved seeing her beau working like crazy. His being a workaholic was the biggest turn on for her.

They had never believed in the over hyped stereotype of Valentine's Day, and never had they exclusively celebrated it with cheesy red roses and white chocolates. Yet, seeing all the social media updates and couples thronging the hang out joints on her way back from work, she did miss him really hard. She missed being in his arms, losing herself to his strength, his soft kisses on her forehead and his poetic moods.

She checked her messages once again but there was nothing. She started to feel a little ignored but again she reminded herself of the fact that he was working. In last four years of relationship, she had never felt like this on a Valentine's day. She did not know why this year was any different. But it was... it had been six months since she had seen him last. Distances surely created a gap, a gap which was almost impossible to fill. But there was an unsaid, unspoken yet undeterred confidence in each other that kept them going. He had his dreams to chase and she had her's.

She was a strong, feminist, high-headed, "Valentine opposing" girl to the world, but inside she was a little kid who was craving to be with him at the moment and feel his breath on her neck. She texted him out of anxiety, and wrote to him about her dream last night where she had been in this very balcony, looking above at the same stars, with the same cup of coffee, but... with her head resting on his lap. The dream that she had been thinking about all day and that she felt was ironic to appear on Valentine's. She described it in details in her text hoping for a romantic reply soon.

She came out of her own fantasy slumber with the harsh door bell sound. She was suddenly reminded that she had to change the battery of the doorbell! She rushed to the door expecting her room mate and waiting to share her loneliness with her.

She opened the door and went numb for what seemed to be like a decade. He stood there, formally dressed, with a handsome black coat and a red tie. He clutched to the gift he had got, like a treasure he had found. The gift, she had been wanting since ages... a red tulip. He came close to her, looked deep into her eyes as she still could not muster the strength to say a 'Hi'.
He held her hand, winked at her and whispered in her ear, "It's no longer a dream!"  

कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है

एक हवा का झोंका आया

और मैं तुझसे कुछ कह ना पाया

रास्ते अपने यू जुदा हो गये पर

कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है...

बातें थी ज़ो कहनी थी

अब दूरी और ना सहनी थी

आगे चाहे जितना बढ़ गया हू मैं

कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है

बारिश की गुम्सुम बूँदों मे

मेय है, नशा है, साकी है,

कुछ कहने को ना आज मगर

कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है

ज़माना वो अब गुज़र गया

जब साथ ज़माना चलता था

अब मिलके भी तुझसे, बेचैनी है, खामोशी है,

कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है..

रात का अकेलापन आज मगर ये

मुझसे धीरे से कहता है

भूल गया सब जो कहा था उसने

बस कुछ दर्द अभी भी बाकी है...

(An evening of Romantic Poetry "Ishq-e-Inayat by Pawas Jain" in Jaipur on 13th February 2013 at Cafe Kalapani - https://www.facebook.com/events/1403169543270697/)

Bring on Love-izza with extra Cheese(iness)!

The month of February has finally disembarked upon us and suddenly the expression of love has become a market from various cafes giving discounts and e-commerce website giving 'valentine deals' [Big Deal(s)!]. After all it is the month of displaying your love... or rather, publicly displaying your love. The populace of couples would suddenly seem to swell and don't freak out if you find out Kama Deva himself being reincarnated in every corner of your city. The couples would soon be thronging the discos, pubs and other not-so-happening places and would be searching for appropriate places to express love without the fear of Shiv-Sainiks beating the hell out of them (Yeah, it is also the time for them to reinstate everybody's faith in Indian culture). 

The number of couple selfies might shoot up on your Facebook timeline and you might have a sudden urge cropping inside you to stab yourself with rose thorns for being single. People might also go to an extent of posting about their respective proposals (although they might not have even got a single Facebook friend's request in their entire life) or bragging about their couple-y hangout on social media websites. Some of your really mean (yeah, actually callous) friends might also ask you to fix up with someone and accompany them to the super cool couple party they are going to (they do it deliberately to make you feel inferior, trust me!). 

Once again the cheesy pick up lines like "Do you have a sunburn or are you already this hot?" might find their way into the conversations, whereas the sale of roses are bound to get doubled and quadrupled. Tequilla will be the hottest liquid of the season and the sale of contraceptives might go up by leaps and bounds (hopefully). If you are an unfortunate single, you might be turned down when you ask your friends to meet for a coffee during these days. Seven days before Valentine, a series of such (may I say) idiotic days would start and the sale of chocolates, teddy bears, roses would be higher than ever (only if hugs were chargeable :'( )

On a serious note (yes, very serious) I have nothing against Valentine's or those who celebrate it. As long as there are no wars and only love, I don't really mind. However I am a strong believer of the school of thought that love is not an ephemeral feeling for a day, a week or a month. Let it stay, grow and pass through its own share of ups and downs. Yes, it sounds boring but every day is a day of love, every day you should remind your partner how much you love them or rather respect them, for that will make them feel loved and blessed (a diamond ring or an expensive wallet on and off would also work for that matter). 

So go around, date people, help the cafes and restaurants break even, be responsible and don't be a fool, cover your tool!

(Image: Google)

'Three' Cheers for JLF!

The recently concluded Jaipur Literature Festival was, as always a five-day heaven on Earth for literary enthusiasts across the world. The magnitude of the festival was larger, the organization was flawless and the crowd was huge. Of course the majority of people who thronged the festival were there either to take selfies, or to eat at the food stalls or to browse through the festival as if they were health inspectors or simply to update a 'check-in' status at the JLF 2014 for a style symbol on Facebook.

But my applause goes especially to the three primary things that made me love JLF 2014 like never before, three special points that need a special mention, and therefore, here are my THREE cheers for Jaipur Literature Festival 2014 -

1. Creating Controversies is easy, curbing them is not - For a festival as enormous in dimensions as the JLF happening in a country like India, controversies are bound to happen. But it is totally amazing to see that JLF and its producers do not ride on controversies for popularity. With the anti-Ekta Kapoor slogans being shouted at the session against her TV soap 'Jodha Akbar', the police and the security ensured that the protesters were pushed outside the venue in a matter of few minutes and continuing the session without any disruption. The event was not highlighted at all and was surprisingly taken in a stride by Ekta Kapoor as well.

2. Absence, but persistence - This season of JLF witnessed a lot of big celebrity sessions being cancelled due to the absence of the speakers, but they were very swiftly replaced with other speakers and sessions which maintained the charm, and no one actually bothered about the absence. With crowd-pullers such as Javed Akhtar, Shashi Tharoor and Mary Kom not turning up at the last moment, JLF rightly justified itself being the World's largest free literature festival.

3. Rain, Rain go away, not an issue even if you stay - The heavy and unexpected downpour in the city of Jaipur early in the morning of 21st January 2014, which was the last day of JLF created an air of doubt among the participants about the management at Hotel Diggi Palace. But on reaching the hotel, everybody realized that the venues had been immediately shifted and backup plans had been effectively enacted upon. In fact, to make the rains even more lovable, a special counter for hot tea with dal ke pakode was set up in no time. The organizers presented an exemplary presentation of 'The Show Must Go on'.

These were the five days of the year which are truly awaited literally like a 'festival'. Going into the sessions and which one was the best or had most to offer would take up a lot of space and time. But kudos to the organizers and a huge cheer for the festival directors for holding yet another successful season of Jaipur Literature Festival.

I also attach some self-clicked pictures of JLF, there are no selfies, no high definition shots, no food stalls, no fashion statements in the following pictures. Just pure, pristine and the real essence of JLF and a glimpse of a few sessions -

The First day at JLF, the crowd starts to throng the venue!

An esteemed panel of C.P. Deval, Mahmood Farooqui, Arjun Dev Charan, Prahlad Shakhawat and Irrfan Khan discussing the epic storyteller Vijaydan Detha

Somnath Batayabal, Raj Kundra and Arghya Lehri about their respective books on white collar crimes and thrillers.

Discussing Bollywood: Vamsee Juluri, Irrfan Khan and Meghnad Desai

A beautiful photography workshop by Dayanita Singh where she beautifully established a link between photography and literature

An intense discussion on 'Why India Votes' by Manvendra Singh, Mukulika Banerjee and Nilanjan Mukhopadhyay in conversation with Sudhir Chaudhary

A jam packed writing workshop by Jerry Pinto where the crowd was literally ROFL!

The most awaited session - Amish Tripathy is a candid conversation on a chilled morning

Amish Tripathy launched "Book of Spice" by Vikas Khanna

A fiery session moderated by Ravish Kumar on 'Raj and Samaj: Democracy and the People' with a panel of Kalyani Shankar, Navin Chawla and Pavan Kumar

A full house at the session "Blue Planet, Green Earth" by Shekhar Pathak, Suman Sahai in conversation with Ahmad Rafay Alam

A session for just laughing out loud - by Indrajit Hazra, Shovon Chowdhary and Bachi Karkariya

"Each Others' Stories" - a session by the TV queen Ekta Kapoor

A soulful session by Sonam Kalra on Finding your Voice!

Not a very clear picture, but a glimpse of the grand finale debate on "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the rest" moderated by Sanjoy Roy with reputed speakers such as Murli Manohar Joshi, Shazia Ilmi (both can be seen in the background a little blurred), Indrajit Hazra etc. 

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