The Traffic (Non) Sense...

Driving any kind of a vehicle in India is a chimerical potion of sound, spectacle and an enduring experience. The roads and the vehicles are absolutely on their own, paying no heed to who or what is driving alongside them or whether any so called 'traffic rules' need to be followed. Even the traffic policemen truly and sincerely follow the worldwide rule of 'Customer is King'. We have an amazing tendency to assume immortality when we drive for ourselves and for fellow road users. In fact, Indian traffic is also like the Indian caste system, there are certain kinds of reservations for some sections of society. These are allowed to pass or overtake or cross the road on their own wish and in case of any accident these 'reserved' categories are never to be blamed! A few elements of this reserved sect include cows, elephants, pigs, bicyclists (which are evidently of two types in India - goods carrying and passenger carrying). 

Secondly, we take the use of horns as our birthright and can abuse anyone any time in case we are denied that right. We use the sonic fender in a number of ways. One is the 'urgent' call, usually used for clearing dogs, pedestrians and the flock of sheep which suddenly decided to graze the road. Next is the 'desperate' call, which we use along with the flashing of the headlights. In a decent and straightforward language, by this desperate call, we simply mean, "I am going too fast and have no intentions of stopping. So unless YOU decide to stop, we shall both meet in heaven"... And even after these two types, there still exists a third one, 'casual' call (my favorite one). It is basically used when we spot someone out of the 122 crores Indians who we recognize, or more often than not, we haven't used the horn for several minutes... ;)

 We have also gained expertise in multi tasking over the years (thanks to the development of MS Windows). While driving we love performing the amazing feat of text messaging our friends or even updating our facebook status to 'Driving in helluva Traffic.. :) '. We do not realize that these manoeuvres may be the reason of the traffic jam and the blaring horns behind us. another important aspect is overtaking. Come what may we always have the right to overtake. Every moving vehicle irrespective of its size, side or shape has the right to overtake every other moving vehicle also irrespective of the fact that it has just overtaken you! 

Another chronic problem of Indian vehicles on road, which is as serious and widespread as yellow fever in Africa, is of Overloading! But for this, I have devised a simple formula. The number of passengers a vehicle can carry = A2  , where A is the actual number of passenger allowed on a vehicle. As an example, the number of passengers allowed on a bicycle is 2, but the actual number that will be seated comfortably on an Indian bicycle = 2X2 = 4... So the next time you see an overloaded vehicle, do apply this formula for the test of its applicability and truthfulness. 

With the increasing number of accidents on Indian roads, I just wish that some sense is infused in the drivers for more safety in future. Finally, just one advice of crossing an Indian road - Look left, then right, then left again before crossing a ONE WAY road... ;)



Arcchit Jain said...

The Traffic (Non) Sense.........This one's better....:-DD...rofl

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