"The Great Indian Wedding" - The Diary of a Bhukt-Bhogi Teen-ager

24th October 2008
11.20 p.m.

Sorry Dear Diary, as I got late in writing to you today. I couldn't help it... After all, the food today was so exquisite and piquant, that it gave me loose motions. My stomach is aching and I dare not tell my mom about it, as she was continuously trying to stop me from overfeeding myself.. but when you have at least over hundred stalls all around you offering different types of appealing meals from across the globe, and when an electrifying aroma is raiding your nose, you dare not hold back your mouth! But,
 "Ab Dard-e-pet ka haal kya samjhogi tum, Aye Diary,
Tum kya jano Paneer Lababdaar ki Mehak ka jadoo kya hota hai..."

But anyways, I had to attend my cousin sister's wedding today. To be humble and frank, I basically did not even know her properly... She is my mom's cousin brother's sister-in-law's daughter... umm.. Never mind... But we are Indians and as long as your mother went to the "Naam-karan" of a kid, a couple of decades back, you have all the right to raid their wedding party (not to mention, the food...). Indian weddings and ceremonies confuse as well as bore me. First of all, being from the bride's side is a bane, I tell you... You have to wait for the 'baraat' to arrive before you can actually conduct a loot on various stalls. A BAD rule... :( ... I had to wait almost an hour and a half, because the 'baraatis' were dancing like maniacs on the main gate of the wedding location for almost an hour (as told to me by the giggling aunties, because I was standing at the golgappa stall waiting for it to start).

As soon as the 'baraat' arrived, there were a host of long-established and doctrinal ceremonies at the gate. Maybe they did not realize that I had skipped my lunch to prepare my stomach for the evening flood. After that, the groom proceeded to the centre stage receiving as much attention and ministration as the President receives on Republic Day function. But the face and habits of the groom clearly advertised that this was the first time he was receiving so much importance (and maybe he was aware of the fact, that it was the last too). After a minutes, the garland exchanging ceremony started where the bride was lifted by her family members high above to prevent the groom from garlanding her. She was about to fall when they gave up, I wondered why they agreed to the marriage in the first place, if they wanted to prevent it from happening... ... Never mind, I dug my hands further down my jeans pocket in an attempt to clean my fingers off the 'Tikki chole' remains (I lost my handkerchief in the school and did not tell my mom about it).

I overheard some uncles in the corner cracking jokes about marriage and guffawing loudly. I did not understand most of the jokes but did hear that Marriage for men just means experiencing pain and buying jewellery. I just thought that my friend would live very happily then, as he had an ear pierced and was familiar with both. I ignored the useless comment and moved on with my "Paneer Tikka". I noticed that now the bride and groom were getting their pics clicked with everyone and anyone. The family members had the expression of utmost content, as if they had just witnessed Urvashi and Menaka performing on "Aaja aaja Mai hoon pyaar tera...". On the contrary, the bride and the groom looked pestered and I even alluded that the bride just yawned widely, I pitied her...

Meanwhile, I had moved on to the main course after 8 snacks and 28 golgappas. The main course had a lot to offer, ranging from Paneer vegetable, mixed vegetable to a few other non-edible vegetables, maybe for the aged strata of the guests. There were two types of Daals,  and a few types of rotis. After having a satisfying dinner, I ate two rasgullas and a chocolate flavored ice cream, gladly accompanied by a Kulfi and Gulkand Paan to give it a perfect ending.

Therefore, May god bless the bride and groom for a bright future.... umm... and May god bless their parents for such an amazing meal... May they get married again and again and again.... :)



Anonymous said...

tradition will definately change on your marriage for sure.... lolz.

Manuhaar said...

hahahahah m still laughing.. looks like we all have d same reason of attending marriages ;)
awesome pawas jain.. beautifully written :)

Anonymous said...

kya hai khau pet ke alawa kuch aur bhi socha kar .....amazing humour

Anonymous said...

bhukt bhogi nahi bhukkadd teenager.....mamta jain

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