Are We Worthy of Saying "Happy Women's Day"

The World celebrates Women's Day tomorrow on 8th March. However, we should first peep deeper into ourselves to see if we really are worthy of even talking about this day. Every time I have a positive feeling towards amelioration of women in our country, there is a hideous report showing disheartening statistics in the newspaper. With 47% women facing some kind of violence in rural India, we are far away from achieving an equal status for men and women. With eve teasing becoming a euphemism for sexual harassment and molestation, I deny the fact that it is because of the adoption of 'western' culture by us, as stated by many social activists. Blaming westernization for the abject and tawdry mentality of a few men is not wise at all.

Behind closed doors, women are still being tortured in many families. With over 5000 women dying each year due to Dowry cases, the instances of Dowry demands have been notices even in upper class metropolitan families! Besides, since ages we have subjected young girls to the trauma of "Child Marriage", an evil which is unparalleled and highly appalling. One evil leads to other, and therefore due to the prevalence of Dowry in our society, female infanticide and sex selective abortion got introduced. I suppose such a crime of killing a child might be unforgivable even by God. Another petrifying crime that we have witnessed in large numbers even after the many laws passed against it, is Human trafficking.

Education has been an answer to many of our problems. When education was made available to women in large numbers, many Indian women, after centuries to subjugation awoke to a new life. We really need to stress on this point in coming future. Abolition of dowry and limitation 'of marriage expenses were some steps for the promotion of the lot of Indian women. The self-immolation of Snehalata, a Bengali girl in 1914 agitated the youths who demanded immediate constitutional reform to oust this ugly Practice. The Purdah system was done away with.

However, no single blog post and no single day can bring about a huge change. An anarchistic change is required in the mindset of the population of our country which can come about only through education and awareness. I wish someday, I am lucky enough to live in a country where men and women are equally respected. The problems and solutions I have written about have been repeated and discussed millions of times before, but this is just another drop in the ocean to take a step towards a better India.

I want the word to spread and people to awake, to make this country a better place to live for one and all alike. With due respect and great hope, I wish everyone a Happy Women's Day - your chance to bring a change. :)

The Warrior of the Modern Times

Last time I checked, every economy in the world divides the people as 'haves' and 'have-nots'. Its only today, that I came to know that my very own Rajasthan university also practices the same. With 'haves' being the one who can get their work done from the back door entry and some jack, and 'have-nots' being the ones that are described later in this post.
 Now it was one of those important and rare days when I had to visit Commerce College (oh yes, for all those kids and elders who thought I studied in ICAI, yes I study here too), University of Rajasthan.
Now most of the universities in the world might be following separated trends of handing out Admit cards for the year-end terms, but we have devised an absolutely fresh and path breaking system - often referred as "Gundaraj". How difficult can you imagine, be the task of collecting your admit card? As difficult as making a few clicks and getting it printed as in case of CS exams, or as difficult as signing in front of your name and getting it delivered through courier as in case of CA exams. But welcome to RU, where you pray and negotiate with God in the morning to bring you alive back to your home.

Maybe the whole concept has been designed in an attempt to make the students realize the importance of this mere piece of paper called Admit Card. I reached there holding my ID proof in my hand like a king. The window was closed while the students gathered around like bees. After a considerable delay of an hour, the window opened like the gates of heaven and students stood there waiting for the judgement moment. As soon as the window opened, students rushed towards it jumping and howling like wild animals. Soon enough I realized I had to be one of them to be able to "win" my admit card.

I loosened my leather belt and opened a few top buttons of my shirt and amassing all the strength and courage and taking the name of my God for one last time, I let myself in the huge swarm of people. Just like an anti-biotic that we swallow, the crowd swallowed me up. The system works pretty simple here, you just yourself in and the rest happens itself. People from all around pushed and squeezed me. I suddenly could not feel my own hands and feet. Just then I realized that the existence of ID card was in danger as it was slipping out of my fingers, I immediately clutched it with more energy and strength.

Somehow keeping the care for my own body parts aside, I pushed myself further in and realized I had reached the gates of heaven. I punched my hand inside the window and held out my ID proof. Few long and seemingly unbearable seconds passed, and my admit card was in my hands. But this was just the half journey. I realized I was stuck between oddly smelling and weirdly behaving students all around. My hands were stretched out in front of me, and I could just thank god that none of my body part itched at that moment.
Several people from behind thrust their own ID proofs in my stretched out hands requesting me to get their cards too, where the requests ranged from never-heard-before derogatory abuses to some addressing me as "bhaiya". I did the needful (as if I had any other choice) and tried pulling myself back.

Finally I could smell a little fresh air when I knew I was close to freedom and finally with a little jump, I came out alive. I patted my back to have survived the battle with a broken button, messed up hair, surprisingly bleeding little finger, aching knees, and half torn admit card, for which I was there and odd smell of sweat and toil. I almost felt molested, but gave out a sigh of relief to have achieved.

I would never feel such sense of self pride and achievement ever in life again - oh wait! I will... the next year... Ah! :(

Getting Started...

Studying is never an arduous task for any of us. Oh yes, we are a hard working and laborious generation, after all! But what actually is backbreaking and difficult is a basic thing required for studying - STARTING it! I realized this basic human (read: student) tendency recently when it dawned upon me that I have my college end terms starting in first week of the next month. With only a few days left, I decided to study with all my dedication, or rather desperation, but all in vain!

There are few steps or stages in this process of getting started with books and notes. One of the primary and most important (or somewhat of a prerequisite) to this process is 'knowing the syllabus'. In case of college exams, you only get to know the syllabus, either when the exam is horribly close (like an hour away) or if your parents continue to pester you with nightmares of failing in the exams. Once you become cognizant of the syllabus, its like an electric shock for you. You suddenly run around like maniacs in search of books and brief(est) notes available around. Most of the people around me (including myself) rely on those amazing inventions of humankind called "one week series" in such situations.

Another step which everyone goes through before actually getting started with the process of studying is counting the chapters and number of pages in each. Sometimes it almost gives us a puking feeling to realize that the chapter we thought was the easiest is actually 85 pages in "brief" notes. We count the number of pages every time we sit down to study, and once we start reading a chapter, it is a common student practice to count the number of pages left in the chapter. It is only then that we come to know that we have read only 4 pages of the brobdingnagian chapter in last one hour.

The best time to study is an hour before exam while doing your daily morning chores in the bathroom. It is the time your mind works fastest and you grab most of the knowledge at once. We finally cut down chapters and topics into words and codes which help us remember them at the right time. Some of us, more resourceful and bright, also scribble down things on the back of our hands, pockets and some places which can only be seen in the bathroom to avoid an 'un'family atmosphere in the exam hall.

So I just hope for myself, that I get over with this hard and seemingly impossible task of "Getting Started", else I will have to rely on the morning bathroom hours for the best results...

The One With All the Memories...

Now sometimes, there are just random days when you kind of educe all those golden moments that you spent in the past. People often ask us about the best days of our lives. Without a doubt, I will always be ready with the answer "School Days". Definitely, those bygone days have left a lot... just like the imprint of a foot in wet cement. There is a feeling of a tied knot inside, whenever the memories of those days come alive - and the irony of this all is, that we never even realized that we were going through the best period of our life, when we were in school! And how could we, when we had the ever daunting task of criticizing every step and every decision of our school administration?

The first friends that we made, the first teachers that we idolized, the first time we got recognition, the first time we made girlfriends/boyfriends, the first time we fought, the first time we opposed, the first time we stood up for ourselves, the first time we abused... every thing happened during those years of schooling. We might have moved ahead, we might have achieved a lot, we might have forgotten most of the things that happened during school, but somewhere inside we do have a feeling that lives with us - the feeling of regret and the feeling of anguish and dysphoria that we never lived our school days as much as we should have and that we never realized the importance of those carefree, independent days sans all the tension and shackles of the daily burden of regular lives.

The maximum astriction during those days was when we got a lot of homework, or the teacher called our parents complaining about our wrong doings. And then started the session of endless apologizing and fake promises of not repeating our mistakes! But then, that is what school life is all about. You commit mistakes for the first time, and then learn from them, or maybe in some cases, start enjoying committing them. ;)

Since times immemorial school has played a very important role in creating what we actually are. As they say, the base of the building is the most important and so is the schooling. For all my fellow mates and contemporaries, I would say, that never let that child inside you die, and never let those amazing memories fade away. For all those who are lucky to be enjoying their school life still, I would say that live it to the fullest and do not leave a single stone of fun and frolic unexplored, because these days will never come back!

I close with the lines of the most famous song of Bryan Adams, perfectly suitable for the situation -

"Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I'd want to be there
Those were the best days of my life" 

The Last 'Free' Post

Central Government has finally given a nod to the prosecution of 21 social networks of India recently. These networks include Facebook, Google, Orkut, Youtube, Blogspot, Yahoo and many others. These are the names of those websites which have taken a place in our bookmarks or 'most viewed' sites now. These are the websites which have enabled the youth across the nation, and even global, to come together and discuss the matters which were earlier untouched. They have given a platform to the users to vent out their anger on the government and its working, in a 'free' environment without any hassles.

Today, when the government's decision comes, it seems they had been like a lazy hibernating polar bear for the last 3-4 years in which these sites have gone viral. Such messages and hatred discussions had been published since times immemorial. So no marks for guessing why the government did it now... simply because now that the government has been taking some really foolish steps, the anti-government material on the net as also gone up! Shahrukh Khan, Salmaan Khan, Amitabh Bachchan and many other national, multi-national stars have been criticized, abused, mocked at on the internet for so many years now, but none of them created a hullabaloo about banning them altogether! But maybe the government was never too mature or do we say it is too 'old' to understand our views. It has almost been the policy of the ruling parties in India to ignore the needs and views of the urban youth anyways.

Delhi High Court happily gave an example of China like blockage on websites. Tell me one thing, I don't really believe this, are we REALLY following China? Then why is there so much of unemployment all around? why haven't our industries been flourishing in mass production? why is there such a shortage of local goods in our markets? why is there so much of inflation and price rise? Learn something good from China if you really want to... huh!

I don't know (and i dread to think) if such a ban will really be imposed... And if we have followed China in prosecution of social networks, we might soon be following Pakistan in ban of the usage of several words on text messaging. This might be my last post as a free man, because soon we will be watched over by the authorities. I dread to think of such a terrible time for my country... we are in  a mode of regression!

The 'Art' of Respecting Women...

It is sometimes disparaging to see that somewhere we are claiming to be the country with the highest youth population and on the other hand, we are on top of the lists and surveys, which scream about the condition of women in our nation. If we are actually progressing, if we are actually a bunch of aware and alert people, then where do such biases find their way from? Is it a thing of pride, to belong to a certain gender? We all, at one time or the other, have turned a blind eye to incidents of this chronic problem around us - among relatives, friends, and neighbourhood.

On rumination, I realize the fault lies in the upbringing of children in Indian households. I speak openly and I am not scared of stating the fact that we have a serious parenting problem when it comes to gender bias. It is a common sight to see parents around us contributing towards making their sons typical male chauvinists. Daughters are always supposed to serve their brothers, do the household chores, and not retaliate to any abuses or comments of their brothers. It is this attitude that leads to those kids becoming supremacists in future expecting the same from their own wives. At parenting, therefore, we are facing a serious problem.

It is not a fresh news that I am breaking, but a fact that women-even little girls- in our country, are constantly bombarded by negative, exploitive messages and unrealistic expectations in the media and world in which we live that exacerbate insecurities about themselves. They need to be reassured and reminded that they are beautiful, and that beauty does not mean perfection. When it comes to manners, open the door for her, or hold it open a few seconds longer if she is right behind you. It won't let you down in any way. Let her go first or pass in front of you. If her glass is empty, ask her if she would like a refill. Set or clear the table, and always pay for her meal. Ask her what she likes and dislikes. Chivalry is evidenced by thoughtfulness in action, such as those who pick up and drop off their wives or girlfriends near building entries/exits when it's cold or raining. It's not about men insinuating that women are weak or can't do things for themselves,rather, it's about showing that we care, and expressing kindness in tangible ways.

I am no authority or saint to teach anyone how to treat women, or how to respect them. If respect ever came by reading, then Google would have taught that to Indian men long back. We need to think about this a little more. Think about what women actually mean, and what they actually are... Our country can be on top one day, but for that day to come, we should first respect those brought us into this world.

I would close this perfectly, with a poem which is not mine, and I read it somewhere:-

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from within her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman
With passing years
Only grows..."

Yes, its the time for us to grow and change as a nation - https://www.facebook.com/sftimetochange

The Reverse Gear...

The year has reached its dusk. As we stand here and look behind at the events that took place, we feel nothing but dejected. If there could ever be a crestfallen period for the country, it is now! We are in an alarming situation where we cannot do anything but weep. Yes, we can leave the country and go abroad in search of 'better opportunities', but then that would be running away from the situation, although we can hardly help.

I say that we cannot help, because for sure, we, as normal citizens, cannot hang Ajmal Kasam, we cannot pass the Lokpal bill, we cannot bring the Retail FDI in the country, we can hardly improve the condition of females in this nation, we can never punish the wrong doing politicians at our will... we are pretty helpless in a country, where our roles end the moment we cast our votes. The 'vote bank' politics has lead our country into a crisis where we are although not in recession or depression but definitely a major REGRESSION... Since independence we have been on a path of self destruction where we have no one else to blame.

For the votes of farmers and rural population, the demands and needs of the normal urban youth and families has constantly been ignored - we have to continue consuming the adulterated kirana material even if we want to purchase the up market products. For the votes of minorities, again, the innocent rest-of-population is forced to face dejection in examinations and employment opportunities. For the vote bank of religious groups, we have constantly been living under the illusion of "secularism", where the politicians themselves create a row and again themselves settle it on the account of being secular.
The deteriorating condition of females is still like that bad patch of itching on your body - you know its there, but you don't want to talk about it. Neither they are respected for what they are and nor are their contributions highlighted. They is a major portion of households where still women are treated as a to-be-kept-aside home object. This is absolutely depressing, for until and unless we keep turning a blind eye to this, we will never be a prosperous country - and all that we are left to boast about is a hideous-to-look-at 933 sex ratio.

The few of the above things are just a mug out of the ocean of problems and crisis we are currently facing. We are concerned at heart but we actually can't do anything but suffer. We are a bunch of hard working corporate youngsters and we can hardly collect on streets and shout slogans on each one of those issues. The only thing which we can do, the only thing which is still in our hands, is to talk about it as much as we can - spread it, share it, write about it and bring these issues up every time we get a chance... however even that right is going to be snatched away from us by the censorship on social media, very soon. Ah! we are definitely going through a rough patch of circumstances.

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